My take on the Nigerian- Canadian dream: Part 3.

Catch up on Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Because, you won’t meet genuine friends on time, there is a tendency that you will get lonely. Don’t migrate during winter, it will only worsen your loneliness. Be open to new people. But that doesn’t mean that new people will be open to you. Your best bet is to get comfortable with yourself (no porn intended). Watch funny Nigerian videos on YouTube and Facebook. Those will be your immediate respite till you meet friends. If you drink, get used to drinking in the comfort of your room or apartment. For your own sake and that of your pocket, you can’t be bar hopping like you are in Lagos.

Don’t expect to be eating out all the time. Your pocket will grow lean in time. Get used to making your own Nigerian meals. My first 3-4 months were my most depressing. I was eating out and didn’t know where to get Nigerian food. African store was too far from me – almost a contact sport without a car. Probably part of the reason I got a car in less than 4 months of moving here. Now I make the best jollof rice ever and my refrigerator is always stocked with Naija foods. Of course, prepared by me. Quick advice, if you are used to driving back home or had one or two cars back home, get a car within your first three months (and buy it cash down). You won’t regret you did later. Your friends here will probably advice against it.

For grocery shopping, Walmart isn’t your first friend in your first few months. Go to the dollar store (specifically Dollarama) for everything in the first few months until you get used to the concept of the Canadian dollar. It takes getting used to or else everything will seem too expensive. I still make purchases with a conversion to Naira. You will find that quite a lot of things are way cheaper back home. Don’t get carried away with your credit card. You will find that you are better off without it. You need to be financially prudent or else you’d run into problems.

And if you run into financial problems, your Nigerian friends here can’t help you much not because they don’t want to. But because they are probably going through the same thing no matter how long they have been here. Contact your good friends in Nigeria to help out. Recently, I had a discussion with some older “Egbons” (uncles) who were working in top blue-chip companies in Nigeria before relocating to Canada in the last 7-10 years. My surmise from that discussion is no matter how long you have relocated here, you are constantly battling with financial obligation in the system.

These older “Egbons” were shocked how much I understood and knew the system in 11 months. They opened up and regaled me with their stories and experiences in Canada so far. We laughed about it but it wasn’t all palatable. They have 2-3 kids each now and are doing well. However, I couldn’t help but notice that deep down, they felt they’d be doing way better in Nigeria. One of them still has close links and businesses in Nigeria – a fall back plan if you may.   

If you are relocating as a family, you will probably have a softer landing in the system as both of you will be able to support each other. My working hypothesis is that women are more likely to succeed faster in Canada than men. I have no data for this - its based on my observations so far. If your wife is an irritable one, my advice is that you have a heart-to-heart talk within yourselves before leaving Nigeria. The system will test that marital bond. I recently let go of a potential new girlfriend who is in Nigeria – she was the irritable type. I figured she’d never understand the system in Canada easily. In Nigeria, it wouldn’t have been an issue for me – there is always a support system in Nigeria. As a man, be prepared to help with house chores – it’s a partnership here as it should be.

Lastly, have a standard for everything. Have a standard you are not willing to go below regardless of what happens. As a new immigrant, the system will test you and throw things to you. You will consider taking that rather obnoxious and underpaying odd job to make ends meet. Don’t try to become “Canadian” all of a sudden. You will be tempted to associate yourself more as Canadian and behave as such. My finding is that you earn more respect when you state your case based on being true to yourself and where you are from rather than trying to overly blend in.

Be patient and don’t expect your immigration journey to be like anyone else. It never will be. I’m still figuring mine out as well and clearly hoping for it to get better.

Foye.

My take on the Nigerian- Canadian dream: Part 2.

Catch up on part 1 here.

From times past, relocation to more developed nations has always been identified with better economical opportunities and anyone who could find his way out of Nigeria is often deemed to be “opportuned”. The assumption of the average Nigerian is that relocation brings economic progression and opportunities. This is a faulted assumption; one I had previously made in my younger years. While economic progression is expected with relocation, its not always the case.

As a matter of fact, people often struggle in the destination countries for some amount of time before stabilizing. Some never stabilize. However, the stigma of being in a “developed country” and “not making it” often lead people to pretend lifestyle. Its important to understand that its rather rare for your friends living in these countries to paint the picture of real-life situation in these destination countries. Sometimes, when they do, it’s usually discarded, disavowed or rarely believed. Don’t get me wrong, the standard of living in any destination developed country like Canada will always be higher than Nigeria. However, it comes to you at a high cost as an immigrant. Nothing is given unto you for free here – this statement can not be overemphasized. Suffice to say that the family support system and manual everyday labour available in Nigeria is totally out of the equation here.

Say you have finally relocated to Canada either as a Permanent resident or a student, unfortunately the struggle does not necessarily end in Nigeria for you. Firstly, you might need to start all over here which isn’t a bad thing. However, if you are coming in with 5-8 years work experience, MSc or even PhD, starting all over isn’t exactly palatable unless it’s a career change. My first advice, if you have more than 5 years of work experience in Nigeria and earning more than 400,000 naira monthly in Nigeria or somewhere else, rethink your relocation strategy.

Secondly, unlike the US or UK, Canada is just opening itself up more to immigration and is still in its early stages of that. Don’t get me wrong, people have been relocating to Canada for a long time and 4 in 10 people you will meet in Canada are immigrants of different origin. But it was never a first option for Nigerians in general until the last 2-3 years. US and UK have always been the first choice and probably still is (anecdotal data). US was my first choice for my MBA. Relatively higher MBA fees (in comparison to Canada), favourable post study policy and less criminally violent environment pushed me in the direction of Canada. In hindsight, I would have made the same choices given the same situation. However, if I had just a little more money, the US would have been the perfect country for my MBA education.

From my point of view, the average Canadian is more indifferent towards immigration and immigrants than open to it. Also, canadians are the most polite group of people I have ever met. However, being polite is very much different from being friendly. For the average Nigerian, friendship means “I trust you to a reasonable level”. That’s not the same for Canadians as the average Canadian is friendly mostly to be socially correct and polite; this is sometimes followed by a spurious smile. Despite this, I have met some of the most genuine  Canadians around, but racial profiling still lurks around in the system. It might get a little worse if you are black or even Nigerian.

Say you finally landed and living in a Canadian city or municipality, here are a few tips I have learnt in my 11 months of being here. Your first set of friends will probably be the Indians – they are more open and believe in communal living. Your first set of friends won’t be blacks or Nigerians unless those you know closely from back home. Nigerians are generally wary of other Nigerians here. You may not find a lot of Africans or Nigerians around depending on your city. And when you do, they are often less warm or welcoming than you will find back home. This, I find, is often because they are wary of being tagged as “another black man” and the individualistic tendencies of the average Nigerian who believes more in getting ahead by himself than as a community (I intend to write explicitly on this in another essay). Forming a community is one of the ways in which the Indians and the Chinese have been able to build a community and network amongst themselves here. You will find that most Indians and Chinese stay within their close community whether in school or at work.

Ps: Post completed in Part 3 (next post).

Foye.