Because, you won’t meet genuine friends
on time, there is a tendency that you will get lonely. Don’t migrate during
winter, it will only worsen your loneliness. Be open to new people. But that
doesn’t mean that new people will be open to you. Your best bet is to get
comfortable with yourself (no porn intended). Watch funny Nigerian videos on YouTube
and Facebook. Those will be your immediate respite till you meet friends. If
you drink, get used to drinking in the comfort of your room or apartment. For
your own sake and that of your pocket, you can’t be bar hopping like you are in
Lagos.
Don’t expect to be eating out all the
time. Your pocket will grow lean in time. Get used to making your own Nigerian
meals. My first 3-4 months were my most depressing. I was eating out and didn’t
know where to get Nigerian food. African store was too far from me – almost a
contact sport without a car. Probably part of the reason I got a car in less
than 4 months of moving here. Now I make the best jollof rice ever and my refrigerator
is always stocked with Naija foods. Of course, prepared by me. Quick advice, if
you are used to driving back home or had one or two cars back home, get a car
within your first three months (and buy it cash down). You won’t regret you did
later. Your friends here will probably advice against it.
For grocery shopping, Walmart isn’t your
first friend in your first few months. Go to the dollar store (specifically Dollarama)
for everything in the first few months until you get used to the concept of the
Canadian dollar. It takes getting used to or else everything will seem too
expensive. I still make purchases with a conversion to Naira. You will find
that quite a lot of things are way cheaper back home. Don’t get carried away
with your credit card. You will find that you are better off without it. You
need to be financially prudent or else you’d run into problems.
And if you run into financial problems, your
Nigerian friends here can’t help you much not because they don’t want to. But
because they are probably going through the same thing no matter how long they
have been here. Contact your good friends in Nigeria to help out. Recently, I
had a discussion with some older “Egbons” (uncles) who were working in top
blue-chip companies in Nigeria before relocating to Canada in the last 7-10
years. My surmise from that discussion is no matter how long you have relocated
here, you are constantly battling with financial obligation in the system.
These older “Egbons” were shocked how
much I understood and knew the system in 11 months. They opened up and regaled
me with their stories and experiences in Canada so far. We laughed about it but
it wasn’t all palatable. They have 2-3 kids each now and are doing well. However,
I couldn’t help but notice that deep down, they felt they’d be doing way better
in Nigeria. One of them still has close links and businesses in Nigeria – a
fall back plan if you may.
If you are relocating as a family, you
will probably have a softer landing in the system as both of you will be able
to support each other. My working hypothesis is that women are more likely to
succeed faster in Canada than men. I have no data for this - its based on my observations
so far. If your wife is an irritable one, my advice is that you have a
heart-to-heart talk within yourselves before leaving Nigeria. The system will
test that marital bond. I recently let go of a potential new girlfriend who is
in Nigeria – she was the irritable type. I figured she’d never understand the
system in Canada easily. In Nigeria, it wouldn’t have been an issue for me –
there is always a support system in Nigeria. As a man, be prepared to help with
house chores – it’s a partnership here as it should be.
Lastly, have a standard for everything.
Have a standard you are not willing to go below regardless of what happens. As
a new immigrant, the system will test you and throw things to you. You will
consider taking that rather obnoxious and underpaying odd job to make ends meet.
Don’t try to become “Canadian” all of a sudden. You will be tempted to
associate yourself more as Canadian and behave as such. My finding is that you
earn more respect when you state your case based on being true to yourself and
where you are from rather than trying to overly blend in.
Be patient and don’t expect your
immigration journey to be like anyone else. It never will be. I’m still
figuring mine out as well and clearly hoping for it to get better.
Foye.
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