Ok so I’m going to go direct, albeit unusually, on this. I have not written anything besides academic papers and publications, which I thoroughly enjoy doing by the way, in over a year. And it sure feels weird. May be not totally. I had been faltering in writing before then – there has simply not being enough time and it’s been an interesting 2-3 years. Rock bottom, they say, always gives a different perspective. Let’s just say I was few meters away from it but that’s a discussion for another day.
These
days, I bask in the reality that even when perspectives and situations change,
people may or may not remain the same. Most times, people and things remain the
same even with new information. It takes a truly critical mind to change
perspectives as new information emerges. One wonders how seemingly adult individuals
sometimes expect a different result using the same old method and rules of
engagement. Alas, the mind of human being is endlessly inexplicable.
Friendships. In the last year or so, I took a break from my closest friends and friends generally. I needed to find myself all over again - I find that it is important for one to constantly find one’s self as situations emerge. But I also gained a few new friendships with my Indian friends – overall down to heart, great and supportive guys. I find that our culture and experiences are somewhat similar and relatable. I recently tried to reconnect back with an old friend who I have loads of respect for and had being very supportive and non-judgemental in the past. I was pleasantly surprised to find this person to be the exact opposite of the things I originally admired and respected. But then, situations have emerged. Or not.
Love.
I find that life has a cyclical nature to it. Sometimes, you end up exactly
where you started from at the end of the day. My love life seems to have
adopted this viewpoint. I find, and I have not have always known this, that
love or any commitment is more about mutual respect, appreciation and lots of
compromises, reticence and restrain.
Family.
Recently tried to reconnect back with the old family. I’m still unsure if this
was the best decision, but it was the right thing to do. I realized time and
again that some things never really change even with emerging situations and time
to audit. I am almost convinced I’m better off staying away. For my peace of
mind, this option remains open. Peace of mind trumps everything.
Lessons.
You may find that besides your significant other, the best support system you
may have might just be yourself. I find this to be true for myself – this might
not be so for you. If you have a low tolerance for risk, triple back up your
plans. It still may not work out as planned but you will know you tried, and this
can be some consolation. Develop a thick skin for failures and disappointments.
I have been through a few in the last couple of years that giving up was almost
an option. Lastly, believe and trust in God. This coming from a not so
religious person might be a shocker. But yes, God sees and fixes everything and
in his time things will fall into place.
Best,
Foye.