I wasn’t banking on making a sequel to this particular blog post. I thought it wasn’t necessary and I wasn’t sure I needed anymore rueful or fledgling lessons in women affairs. Unfortunately for me, I got more lessons whether I wanted it or not. In fact, I got more than I bargained for.
Apart from the flurry of comments that needs be responded to, @Toinlicious would particularly curry the process for making this sequel drop. She actually harassed me. I’m pretty sure she’d cover her face when she reads this. Anyways, you should check out her blog here. She’s quite a burst of energy with her sensational and expressive personae.
One anonymous reader would comment that “The cynic shouldn’t draw a conclusion yet about women. From his submissions, I’ll advice that he dates a Hausa girl after which he (the cynic) could now narrow his opinion about women/relationships down to one singular fact…….”
To this reader I say, I’d be delighted to date a Hausa woman. However, I’m yet to make concrete conclusions about women. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I’d make an erroneous conclusion as I do not have enough grey hairs to make such assertions. Or rather maybe I’m just being careful not make an intellectual blunder premised on wrong and probably biased notions. My experiences so far are biased. Emotion itself can be biased anyways.
Another reader, @Femmylounge, would comment that “he hopes I find my woman soon and live happily ever after”. I pray you do too for we are all in this world to look or live for something. And the choice of what we look or live for is entirely ours and ours only.
I would almost think I had gotten what I was looking for in Doyin only for me to be proved right again. Same postulate I had submitted in the two previous sequels to this blog was to be upheld again.
And no, I won’t be giving fine details of my experience with Doyin. But I can definitely say I was almost there and if it had happened, it could have been worth it. I was close to what I haven’t experienced in eons. Doyin was the second nicest lady I have ever met and I mean that beyond words could ever augur. She was beautiful, almost selfless, balanced but hardheaded.
The Cynic would notice he always instigates hardheadedness in the women he relates with. He doesn’t know how come but he hopes it’s all a coincidence. Or maybe he’s just attracted to women like that. A friend, Tunde, would submit that the Cynic loves women being difficult. The Cynic, however, would disagree on all frontiers only for @Toinlicious to make a similar submission. Lobatan!!!
Before Doyin, there was Yemisi, the craziest girl ever. Hold on. I’m not one of those men who derive absolute pleasure in name calling women. As a matter of utmost principle, I don’t. And crazy here doesn’t mean raving mad like breaking or spoiling stuffs. The only girl I ever knew that was capable of that was Chika and I wouldn’t still call her mad. Crazy here, however, alludes to a fact that my experience with Yemisi was different. Different in a crazy way.
Having being introduced by a mutual friend who thought I needed companion and thought her fit for me, Yemisi would assume we were dating from the very first day we met. I thought it was merely a prosaic assumption of a girl who hadn’t been with a guy for about a year. Alas, I was mistaken for she stepped up her game and took on the role of a wife and I was the unfortunate eligible cynic.
She would, on different occasions, give me up to ten missed calls at a go without stopping to think I could be busy and couldn’t pick. She would follow it up with a text that reads something like:
“Where are you?
You don’t want to pick my calls abi.
You are with another woman”.
And when I do return her calls as always, she’s on the attack asking for what and where I have been. I was busy with work I’ll simply say and try to reassure her only for the same episode to be reenacted the very next day. Yemisi was the clingy demanding type. Period!!!
As much as the Cynic revels in being showered with attention, he wouldn’t know how to deal with such overbearing attention that nosedived into a disturbance of sorts. The rueful episode that will break the cynic’s camelback would come about three weeks down the line.
My most profound apologies will have to go to my three afenifere’s: Fisayo, Chidinma and most especially Sandra. These three lovely ladies will fall for the Cynic at different times but he couldn’t bring himself to express any emotion for them as they so desired. It would all happen at about the same time that the Cynic fell for and was trying to get over Doyin. Yeah, the same Doyin of the “being nice” fame.
Trying to get over someone is difficult. It took the constellation of my job, M.sc lab work, a little above average clubbing, lone visits to the movies, the most cherished company of @Toinlicious and other feminine afenifere’s that saved the day. You would find that exactly what you were trying to refrain from will help you get through when it matters the most. And no, I didn’t start drinking again.
Getting over someone doesn’t not always mean walking away. I would want to walk away totally but I realized I didn’t want to. Or maybe I just couldn’t. Socrates was right when he said “By all means marry; if you get a good wife you’d be happy. If you find a bad one, you’d become a philosopher”.
I think I’m on the verge of becoming a philosopher but that’s on a lighter note. But then several questions started popping up in my head as always. A close friend, Diran, would always warn me to stop over intellectualizing emotions.
Another close friend, Fola, would say “We don’t fall in love, we meet people that makes us want to be better, to push boundaries and make them as important to us as our own lives. We choose to love and we can all find it. Choosing right and keeping it is the ultimate challenge”.
You are probably right if you are wondering what the genesis of above discourse was. I don’t necessarily and truly believe in love. I hope I find it eventually and prove myself wrong. That’s one day worth waiting for even if one finds in an unexpected package.
Signed
Eligible Cynic.