Though I do not hail from the well known Ijebu town, I have been described as being extensively frugal by many pseudo sophisticated girls that trails my past; a past fraught with some episode of boisterousness. They say “you are too stingy, Francis”. A few who couldn’t control themselves better may say “You wan carry money go heaven. In fact, don’t call me again”. And I better not.
This scenario happens somewhat frequently that I have had to examine myself expediently in the context. Not surprisingly, I often excused my attitude with a deposition that I didn’t want to become anybody’s mugu or be called one yet again. I had being a big mugu to a particular lady back in the university days. Another broke my heart or so I thought at the time. And no, don’t try to ask for details.
In the midst of all these, I became extensively aware of my emotional propensities. I felt like I was being blackmailed with my own emotion which I was ready to give out rather freely. I questioned the overly need for such emotions, its complication and constant amplification. Why does a complicated entity like the human mind condescend albeit usually to associate its emotions with someone or something? Does it need to? I questioned.
It is innocuous to assume and accept that we (humans) are objects and creations of emotions. But then, are we really? Or did we just find ourselves on the peremptory road to emotional chaos all in the name of emoting? Do we even need to feel something for someone?
Perhaps, it’s just another furtive intrigue that the Darwinian Theory of Natural Selection could unravel just as Richard Dawkins tried to unravel the psychology of Religion and God in his book The God Delusion with the same theory. Maybe we evolved into an emoting being and may probably evolve out of it.
Perhaps, we can accept the usual that we do need to feel and long for someone. At least, one may sometimes find meaning to life in the process as Rene Descartes once said. It’s a good feeling, no doubt, for the good part of it.
The sad part, however, is that our society has been overtaken and is bedevilled by an organised emotional chaos. More harm than good is being done in the name of emotions these days. Many homes and people remain broken due to an emotional breakdown. The institution of marriage is, of course, not excused. The divorce rate in the society remains on a fast climb leaving a trail of emotionally and socially broken children behind.
The recent killing of a female banker by her husband is a case in stride. Believe me, at some point, they must have had it good both emotionally and otherwise. The same husband tried to kill himself in detention while awaiting trial.
All this leaves the mind to wonder what the necessity to emote is then really? Why have emotions that you couldn’t guarantee will persist interminably and unchangingly? Most emotions to fellow humans usually change over a long or short course of time.
What happens if one doesn’t emote? Does it make one less human? Does it make one less susceptible to the vituperative barrage of impacts that comes with the heavy handbag of emotions? Does it reinforce one’s objectivity in dealing with life’s challenges without bowing to its imminent emotional prejudices? Does it make one better equipped to survive in this bedevilled society of ours?
All these questions are subjective and difficult to answer in plain language as we have not known ourselves without emoting. Perhaps, a good research in that direction could help. Even, Adam was probably an emoting being. Maybe if he were not, we’d all be living in the Garden of Eden blissfully. The world would have been better lived there, don’t you think?
I do not argue that one should have no emotions for that will be impossible and possibly erroneous. I hope I do not sound so. I’m just questioning the overly need for them. I’m just saying maybe one could be economical and objective with them. Maybe this may help our society become better and less chaotic at least emotionally and socially.
Foye.