Of Attractions II

Loyalty. That’s the word; the one that got you there and her here. No, it wasn’t the physical attraction or otherwise. Of course, she’s fine. You can’t deal with anything less. You often pride yourself as a ‘fine girls’ man. But it was the loyalty; her undying loyalty to you that made the difference from the others.

“The others” never did augur well with her. She could never understand why there had to be others. She gives her all; she’d say with explosive passion over and over again. Indeed, she gives her all. She was the best around but something inside you wanted to be sure. Back check is what it’s called at your work place.

Back then, there had been four of “the others” who could have been. Even though, you had nothing with them you preferred to subtly hide it. But she always find out - you are not good at lying – and pestered till you shut them down each time. You had shut several down in similar circumstances. You never placed “the others” above her.

Enter Ayo. You had met her at a professional gathering while you still worked with your last employer. She was not your type but she looked dazzling enough to engage. Three months down the line, you knew there was something amiss.

She changed personalities thrice in three months; probably trying to adjust to you but all you wanted to see was her true self. She was from a good family; no family dramas as it were. Thus, you expected her to have a better overall attitude. Alas, you were wrong.

Enter Claire whom you had written about before now. Back then, you had chased her for a little over a year. She wasn’t ready then. You had silently bottled up your emotions and waited patiently like the underdog. Fast forward a year later, she was ready. But you just wanted a pound of flesh.

K was the girl you had pursued in your undergrad days back in Ife. The same one you who used to drive your old rickety Honda car around campus while you rolled with your friends or jumped okada. Fast forward eight years later; she would call out of the blues. She would assume she could start it off exactly where it was dropped years ago when you still had it “hot” for her. She was looking for who to marry. You played along.

Enter TK, the brainiest woman you had ever known. Circumstances were not right. You knew this. You couldn’t change that.

Change. That’s what she prayed for; for she was getting to her breaking point. You are taking me to my breaking point; she’d say sobbing quietly. You knew you didn’t want to lose her. She had threatened to break it all off if it persisted. You had always begged your way through. She loved you and you knew you didn’t want to lose her.

Break up. That’s what you propositioned to her eleven months into it. The reason had being simple. You were scared as the issues were getting bigger than you envisaged. So you ran like every sane man would initially; hoping to avoid the situation.

That was the best decision; you had told yourself. You knew if you stayed, you’d end up here writing this memo. And now you are here. She had you more than you realized. She must have felt it for she didn’t allow you to stray away for too long. She allowed you to be but was never far away. She was there to receive you back like the prodigal son.

Pity. That’s what she thought you had for her for coming back. She was wrong. You never really left but you couldn’t blame her. Pity is the exact opposite of why you couldn’t let her go. You loved her and she was the best around. You hoped she would realize this someday.

Foye.