JUST AS IT IS………..

Again it’s been quite a while that I have been here. Last I was here was a whooping four months ago. Whew *wipes eyebrow*. It’s been a tough but surprisingly short year; full of unexpected turns and twists here and there. In the midst of it all, I thank God. Yea, I said Thank God. That statement coming from me is a bit shocking for at some point in my life, I have been an atheist and an agnostic at other times. 

I still find my agnostic tendencies come to the fore here and there but I go to church much better now. Versus past five to ten years, I probably went to church at least 200% more this year. Now that’s a record. I was even shocked to have actually emotionally missed church when I skipped it for two or so weeks in a row. I was flabbergasted. Me Foye miss church. God is truly on the throne. 

My mum still doesn’t believe that I go to church now and my lady acts like it’s a normal thing for me. Maybe she doesn’t want to upset the flow or jinx it by celebrating it. But if I were asked, I’d probably say that this is the single most important achievement this year: the fact that I went to church more and I actually missed going when I skipped it for two or so weeks in a row. For other areas, I can’t say much.

Now, by my judgment, I have probably sinned more in this year or maybe I was more conscious of those sins because I get to be reminded and reprimanded of those sins immediately I step into church. But then, one thing I have realized is that there is an uplifting that comes with going to church even though one is a bona fide sinner. 

Few months ago, I almost thought I was going through my mid-life crisis. I felt stuck, messed up and done. I’m not married yet with no kids and no hidden kids anywhere. Emphasis on no hidden kids. Why then was I feeling like I was going through a mid-life crisis. This got me thinking maybe there should have been a kid somewhere to make this supposed mid-life crisis sort of valid at my stage. 

I found myself thinking back of any ex or one night stands that could have gotten pregnant for me whether she declared it or not. None. Not one. Was I that careful or were they more careful than I thought and couldn’t risk having my baby. I know I’m not that bad. At least I’ll like to think so.

Anyways, It’s still a little puzzling that as much as I philandered back in the days no girl has ever come forward to say she is pregnant for me and meant it. Only one yeye girl tried to test me by saying she was pregnant for me to which I didn’t express any emotion as she may have expected.

I just listened to her all the time she said it and never ran away. She eventually passed the phase. Today, we are still friends even though I supposedly broke her heart maybe twice. I’m not sure anymore. I don’t think I broke her heart. She broke mine first in the University days. No, it’s not tit for tat.

In the midst of this, I got thinking what my mid-life crisis will be like. I knew exactly when my father passed through his mid-life crisis and it wasn’t pretty. There was no hidden child at least none that I know of yet. He was just more or less so broke and had to convince my mum to start a small business together with her job to make ends meet and feed five hungry mouths. No I wasn’t born with a silver spoon unfortunately.

However, things got better pretty much soon. Dad was promoted in his government job. Mum’s business grew bigger and things really got better. I was barely ten or twelve years during Dad’s mid-life crisis but I remember pretty much everything. I have a lot of respect for my Dad; how he handled the family during his mid-life crisis is one of them.

I had once made a write up about my proposed mid-life crisis about three years ago which I shared with just one very close friend. I never published it. This friend pressured me till I sent it to her to read. I wonder if she still has a copy as I lost my copy with a stolen laptop during the year. This year en. An entire thesis proposal was lost with the laptop. I’m yet to recover from that.

Anyways, I hope this makes you think of all the possible mid-life crisis matter that may arise for you down the years and take a step to mitigate it. I hope you go to church a little more often like me. Who knows who might turn out to be a pastor?

Needless to say that as a young lad, someone in the family church once walked up to me and said I was going to be a pastor later in life. I must say I have lived my life ensuring this doesn’t happen and I still do so. Pastor ke in all of this. Lol.

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year guys. Thanks for the readership in the year even though I churned out very little material. Blame that on my job and on me for allowing the job take my love for writing away from me.

Foye.